I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
