So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize