your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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