people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Randomize
