Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Randomize