I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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