Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Randomize
