I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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