we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
