i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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