the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
