I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
