I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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