I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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