I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
