i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
