Non-Jews are for practice
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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