I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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