I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
