You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
