Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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