And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
