Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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