how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
