I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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