ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and she was petting her beer can
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize