so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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