id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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