Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
