did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
