I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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