New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
