just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
worst night to have a conscience
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Randomize
