apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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