lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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