Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
