Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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