I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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