So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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