Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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