I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
