she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
