Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
