let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
