i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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