My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
