if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
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