Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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