Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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