i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
