I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
