I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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