Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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