The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
