She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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