Whod you bang
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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