I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Come share oat with me in your robe
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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