Yo dont text me then not text me
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
