i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
are you so shy because you have an std?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
