his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Randomize
