it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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