so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
