So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
