I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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