"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
