sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
