I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
