she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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