I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
