There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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