Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
