Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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